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भीष्म उवाच । ततस्ते तापसाः सर्वे तपसे धृतनिश्चयाम् । दृष्ट्वा न्यवर्तयंस्तात किं कार्यमिति चाब्रुवन्॥५-१८८-१॥
Bhīṣma said: Then all those ascetics, seeing her firmly resolved upon austerity, turned her back, dear one, and asked, “What is your purpose?”
english translation
तानुवाच ततः कन्या तपोवृद्धानृषींस्तदा । निराकृतास्मि भीष्मेण भ्रंशिता पतिधर्मतः॥५-१८८-२॥
Then the maiden said to those sages, advanced in austerity: “I have been rejected by Bhīṣma, and I have been made to fall away from the dharma of a husband.”
english translation
वधार्थं तस्य दीक्षा मे न लोकार्थं तपोधनाः । निहत्य भीष्मं गच्छेयं शान्तिमित्येव निश्चयः॥५-१८८-३॥
My consecrated vow is for his destruction, not for the world’s acclaim, O ascetics rich in austerity. Having brought down Bhīṣma, I shall attain peace—this alone is my settled resolve.
english translation
यत्कृते दुःखवसतिमिमां प्राप्तास्मि शाश्वतीम् । पतिलोकाद्विहीना च नैव स्त्री न पुमानिह॥५-१८८-४॥
Because of him I have come to this enduring abode of suffering; and, deprived of the social world a husband grants, here I am neither woman nor man.
english translation
नाहत्वा युधि गाङ्गेयं निवर्तेयं तपोधनाः । एष मे हृदि संकल्पो यदर्थमिदमुद्यतम्॥५-१८८-५॥
I will not turn back without bringing down the son of Gaṅgā in battle, O ascetics. This is the resolve within my heart, for the sake of which this undertaking has been raised.
english translation