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अंतर्हिते स्मरं दग्ध्वा हरे तद्विरहाच्छिवा ॥ विकलाभूद् भृशं सा वै लेभे शर्म न कुत्रचित् ॥११॥
When Śiva had vanished after burning Kāma, Pārvatī became extremely agitated due to His separation. She did not attain pleasure anywhere.
english translation
पितुर्गृहं तदा गत्वा मिलित्वा मातरं शिवा ॥ पुनर्जातं तदा मेने स्वात्मानं सा धरात्मजा ॥ ॥१२॥
Returning to her father’s abode and meeting her mother, Śivā, the daughter of the mountain, considered herself born again.
english translation
निनिंद च स्वरूपं सा हा हतास्मीत्यथाब्रवीत् ॥ सखीभिर्बोधिता चापि न बुबोध गिरीन्द्रजा ॥१३॥
She cursed her own beauty. She said to herself. “O, I am doomed”. The daughter of the lord of mountains did not regain composure though consoled and assuaged by the maids.
english translation
स्वपती च पिबंती च सा स्नाती गच्छती शिवा ॥ तिष्ठंती च सखीमध्ये न किंचित्सुखमाप ह ॥१४॥
She did not achieve happiness and peace in sleeping, drinking, bathing, or sitting amidst her maids.
english translation
धिक्स्वरूपं मदीयं च तथा जन्म च कर्म च ॥ इति ब्रुवंती सततं स्मरंती हरचेष्टितम् ॥१५॥
Remembering the various gestures and movements of Śiva, she muttered to herself ever and anon—“Fie upon my beauty. Fie on my birth and activity”.
english translation